As a sex professional, I see it very important to follow safe sex rules whatever services I offer - because I want to look after my own and my customers' health.
However, safe sex is not something only a professional should be concerned about. It is everybody's responsibility to follow safe sex rules whenever sex is involved.
Below is a list of the main points of safe sex.
Safe sex means that you are protected against sexually transmitted diseases when having sex.
In terms of diseases, safest types of sex include phone sex, watching a strip tease show and masturbation.
Having physical and sexual contact with somebody always carries a risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease. The risk is there whether it is paid sex or not, whether the person is someone you know or a stranger, whether he or she has got symptoms or not. Anybody can have a sexually transmitted disease even if he or she did not suspect it.
You can dramatically reduce the likelihood of getting a sexually transmitted disease by learning more about them and following the safe sex rules.
The most important thing is to learn to use a condom. It may be a good thing to practice with a professional escort - he or she will take care of safe sex and will make certain that you are using a condom. Both of you are responsible of making certain that safe sex rules are followed so you may as well learn the main points of safe sex.
If a person's sperm, penile fluid ('pre-cum'), vaginal fluid, blood or excrement get onto another's mucous membranes or open wounds there is always a risk of transmission of STD's (sexually transmitted diseases).
Having sex without a condom carries the biggest risk of transmission of sex diseases, both when having penetrative vaginal and anal sex.
When having oral the risk is much smaller. The greatest danger when having oral sex is getting herpes either from mouth to genitals or the other way round. However, you can get a sex disease when giving oral if the other person's sex fluids, sperm, excrement or menstrual blood get into your mouth. Urine is sterile - thus, you cannot get a sexually transmitted disease from golden showers.
A sex disease can also be transmitted on hands or sex toys if a person's fluids are being transmitted into another person's anus, mouth, open wounds or onto his or her genitals.
Fondling, caressing, hugging, cuddling, massage and kissing on the mouth or skin are safe. Also, massaging genitals for example onto another person's thighs or between her breasts is fine, as long as you make certain that your sperm or vaginal fluids do not go into the other person's mouth or open wounds.
Stimulating genitals with hands - masturbation - is safe providing that there are no open wounds (or they are covered) in the hands. If you touch many people's genitals it is a good idea to wash and wipe your hands a few times in between. If that is not possible you can of course use a condom when masturbating too, either on the penis or on your fingers.
The most important thing is to you use a condom when having an intercourse always unless you are making a baby! When giving oral it is good to wear a condom if the person you are with is not your partner. It is also a good idea to wear a condom when masturbating someone but that is not usually strictly necessary.
It is important to use condoms correctly to make it last and stay in place when having sex. That is why it is good to practice using them either with your own penis or with a dildo.
Pull the foreskin back. (If the foreskin is too tight you can let it be.) If necessary, wipe the penis - if it is too wet the condom may slip off. Open the condom wrapping following instructions. Do not use your nails or teeth - that may damage the condom! Check which way the condom rolls open. Expel the air from the teat at the tip of the condom by squeezing it. Roll it onto the erect penis down to the shaft. There should be a little bit of room left for the sperm at the tip but no air as it can break the condom.
When giving oral you can use a flavoured condom or a regular condom. If you use a condom when giving oral or masturbating it does not matter if there are lubricants or air inside the condom but you should change a new condom on before you have sex.
Apply a little bit of water based lubricant onto the condom. That will prevent the condom from breaking and also make the penetration more pleasant for both of you. If having anal you must use more lubricant. You should not use oils, creams or lotions because they can make condoms more easily breakable. With condoms, you should only use lubricants that are meant to be used together with them.
If the condom breaks or comes off when you are having sex, stop immediately. Wipe your penis clean and put a new condom on carefully. Don't forget water based lube. Also change a new condom on if you are moving from the anus to the vagina or, if you are having sex with more than one person, every time you change partners. Do not use two condoms one on top of another as there will be friction between them and it can break one or both of them.
After ejaculation withdraw your penis holding the condom securely to your penis to prevent spillage from the condom inside your partner.
If you lick your partner's vagina or anus you can cover them with either a condom that is cut in two halves or a piece of cling film. You can also get dental dams from companies such as Kia-Ora Pacific Trading Party Ltd (which is Australian). Put a little bit of water based lube underneath the dental dam, that will make you feel what you are doing better!
Dildos, butt plugs and other sex toys must always be washed when they are used with another person - before and after! It is a good idea to put condoms on dildos and butt plugs. When fondling another person's anus or vagina with your fingers you can put a condom or a disposable latex glove onto your fingers/hands and with them a lot of lube.
If you have had unprotected sex or if you suspect that you have a sexually transmitted disease go and get it checked. If possible, have your tests done at a specific clinic. You can also have them done at a private clinic or your local health centre.
Some sex diseases do not show right after they have been transmitted which means that tests will not detect them. You should have the tests done about ten days after a disease was possibly transmitted. A HIV infection will only show after 2-4 months.
Having tests done is the only way to check if you have sexually transmitted diseases as very often they are hidden and do not show any symptoms. If you have several random sex partners it is good to have tests done regularly, for instance once a year, even if you do not suspect anything.
If you think that you may have a sexually transmitted disease you must follow safe sex rules very strictly even with your own partner until you get the test results.
Most sexually transmitted diseases can be cured except HIV and herpes (although even they can be kept controlled with medicines). To get the best possible treatment it is vital to discover if you are suffering from a sexually transmitted disease as soon as possible.
Safe sex means managing the risks. You cannot null the risks, but you can minimise them by being sensible and responsible. Getting hysterical about sex diseases will do you no good. Nor does denial or underestimation of the risk help you.